ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
Awful,Crappy,Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
A Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Moron's Car
Another Major Catastrophe
Another Mess of Crap
AUDI
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BEETLE
Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine
BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
Bought My Wife
Brings Me Women
Break My Window
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK
Butt Ugly Import Car Killer
Butt Ugly Indestructable Compact Killer
Butt Ugly In Central Kentucky
Built Under the Inspection of a Crazy Korean
Bought Understanding It Can't Kickbutt
CADILLAC
Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country
Car And Driver Indicates Lady Luck Abandoned Consumer
CAMARO
Can't America Make A Real One?
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Car Has Extensive Rattle On Long Trips
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle Over Loud Engine Tapping
Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
Crap Heap Enormously Vunerable Runs On Luck Every Time
CHEVY
Charged HEaVilY
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
Cruddy Hick Engine Very Yucky
Crap Heap Enormously Vunerable Yearly
CHRYSLER
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
Collection of Half Realized Yet Somehow Likeable Engineering Research
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
CHRYCO
Cherry Hot Rod You Can't Outrun
Chrysler Has Run Your Chebby Off
CITROEN
Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
DATSUN
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
DODGE
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere
Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego
Driven Only During Grey Evenings
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Department Of Defense's Grossest Error
Don't Over Drive Gutless Engine
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dear Old Dad's Garage Experiment
Dead Or Dying Govenrnment Equipment
Edsel
Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT
Failure In Automotive Technology
Fix It Again Tony
Fix It Alltha Time
F**ked In the butt Twice
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD
F**ked over rebuilt Dodge
Flip over read directions
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Rockville Dump
Fails On Rainy Days
Fastest On Race Day
Fastest On Road Daily
First On Race Day (proven false)
Fourth On Race Day (of the "Big Three", fourth is pretty bad!)
First On Recall Day
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Found On Road Dead
Found On Rubbish Dump
Four Old Rusty Doors
Fool Only Runs Downhill (expletive replaced)
Driver Returns On Foot (backwards)
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
F'in's Owner's Really Dumb
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Freaky Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
Fork Over Repair Dough
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Forward Only, Reverse Defective
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
GEO
Get Everyone Out
Grotesque Engineering Outdated
Getting Even Ourway
Got Engine, Oh?
Get 'Er Outtahere
Good Engineering Overlooked
GM
Get a Mopar!
Grungy Merchandise
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Gluteus Maximus
Grossly Misconceived
GMC
Garage Mechanics Companion
General Mass of Crap
Generally Mediocre Cars
Got a Mechanic Coming
Got More Crap
Get More Chicks
Great Muscle Cars
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
GTO
Get Tickets Often
Get Tires Often
HONDA
Helping Out Nips Destroying America
How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile
Hand Over Dollars to Asians
Had One Never Did Again
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
Hallmark of Non-Descript Automobiles
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
IROC
Idiot Runs Over Cats
Ignorant Redneck Owns Car
I'm Really Out of Cash
Italian Retard Out Cruising
I Race Other Cars
I Race On Credit
I Run Over Children
It's Really Only a Camaro
JAGUAR
Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs
JEEP
Just Eats Every Part
Just Everyone Elses Parts
Just Empty Every Pocket
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
LTD
Long Term Debt
Lousy Transportation Dammit
Long Term Disability
MAZDA
Most Always Dangerously Zipping Along
Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually
My *ss Zooms Daily in America
MERCEDES
Money Envy Reliably Causes every Derogatory Expletive to Surface
METRO
Monkeys Engineered This Road Obstacle
Mileage's Everything; Torque, Running's Out
Mangey Environmentalist Transporter Rusts On
My Endeared Transportatin Rusted Out
Martha, Every Thing Rattles Off!
May Every Thing Rattle On
May Endure Teasing, Ridicule, and Ostracism
MG
Might Go
Mobile Garbage
Money Guzzler
Money Grabber
MGB
Might Go Backwards
Miata
My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MITSUBISHI
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
MOPAR
Made Of Plastic And Rubber
Most Often Passed At Races
Most Often Proven At the Racetrack
Most OverPowered And Respected
Massively OverPowered And Respected
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
Mounds Of Power And Revs
Move Over, Pentastar Approaching Rapidly
MOst Perfect Automobiles for Racing
Masters Or Performance and Racing
Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Old Pig Always Roars
My Old Plymouth Ain't Runnin.
More Overall Performance And Reliability
Mostly Obsolete Parts Assembled Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
My Only Problems Are Repairs
Move Over People Are Racing
MUSTANG
Massively Ugly Sh*tpile That's Always No Good
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
NISSAN
Never I Shall Steal Another Nissan
Now in Stupid Shape, Always Nasty
OLDS
One Leak, Dead Starter
Older, Louder, Dumber, Slower
Obnoxious, Loud Death Sled
OLDSMOBILE
Oh Look, Dammit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO
Put In Nickel To Operate
Performance Is Not The Object
Put In New Transmission Often
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object
PLYMOUTH
Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood!
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, all Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC
Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Please Overlook Really Sh*tty Cardboard Horrible Engine
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough
Pity Only Rich Suckers Can Have 'Em
PROBE
Plainly Runs Only By Exception
RENAULT
Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Slick As A Brick
Swedish Auto - Always Broken
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Swedish Auto's Are Best
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears butt-Backward
SATURN
Sorry About That Unexpected Recall Notice
SCION
Sexiest Car In Our Neighborhood
SUBARU
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
U R A BUS (read backwards)
Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All
Transportation Of Young Or Tasteless Airheads
Torturous On Your Old Tired butt
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW
Virtually Worthless
STP
Stop Those Pistons
NAPA
Never Any Parts Available